 Ponderings Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.. Always remember you're unique; just like everyone else! A flashlight is a case for storing dead batteries. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Would a fly without wings be called a "walk?" I dream, therefore I exist. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. He who sleeps half a day has half a life. What was the best thing before sliced bread? If a word in the dictionary were mis-spelled, how would we know? A friend to all is a friend to none. Why is the alphabet in that order? (Is it because of that song?) Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. What's another word for synonym? 99% of all statistics are made up. What's another word for thesaurus? Everything can be explained by one simple face -- God has a sense of humor. Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE! Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative. Why do they have braille on drive-thru ATM machines? If practice makes perfect, and nobody is perfect, then why practice? Two rules of life: Rule 1. Don't tell everyone everything you know. Rule 2. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. Never use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Don't sweat the petty things and down pet the sweaty things. A wise man hears one word and understands two. What was the best thing before sliced bread? JAC - 2002 |